Our Emily

A beautiful light flickered, then went out.

A light that once shone brightly,

Full of life and spunk;

Always asking questions

And even giving an occasional attitude.

A beautiful light flickered, then went out.

Collecting bugs from the yard,

Trophies from heaven;

"Let's go swimming, the water's great!"

Later, sitting with droopy eyes next to the campfire.

A beautiful light flickered, then went out.

Growing up is not always easy for a teenage girl,

Awkward adolescence,

Good friends, bad friends,

Boys.

Oh, boy!

Decisions - some good, some bad.

Feeling sick.

Leukemia?!

Reality check.

Growing up is not always easy for a teenage girl.

Hospital stays that seem to go on forever!

Poked, prodded and tested

As if she was a pin cushion;

But take heart, 

Everything is going as planned.

Medications and trips to Pittsburgh

Follow-up, check-up, 

Cheer up girl,

Everything looks great!

Growing up is not always easy for a teenage girl.

Wonderful, caring people

Nurses that truly love their patients;

Open, honest and helpful.

They are simply blessings, 

Angels sent from above.

Recovery.

Chances are very good that this is coming to an end.

Stay on track,

All looks good.

Medications and trips to Pittsburgh - YUCK!

Make a wish, any wish.

Hawaii it will be,

Take your Mom, take your Dad,

Take your sisters too!

Recovery is so sweet!

Bad news - it's back.

By the way, Merry Christmas.

Just another week and it is off again to Pittsburgh

But this time the odds are not as bright.

Make a wish, any wish.

The marrow transplant.

Lots of hope.

Complications as weeks turn into months!

Things are not going as smoothly as the first round of treatments.

Complications.

Hopeful.

Confused.

Fighting.

Praying.

Surrounded by chemical pumping machines.

Tired.

Complications.

Tears.

Questions.

Prayers.

Nurses and doctors that continually show deep compassion.

Love.

Exhausted.

Tiring of the fight.

Trusting in God.

Many more tears.

Make a wish, any wish.

Life is not easy for a teenage girl.

Look to the Lord with open arms.

A beautiful light flickered, then went out.

You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives. So then, don’t be afraid. I will provide for you and your children (Genesis 50:20-21).

Unending Love - The Beginning

I thought it might be nice to share the video we played before Jackie and Will's wedding. Crazy how similar they were as they grew up - kind of like God had a plan all along.  Simply click on the phrase "Unending Love - The Beginning" below.

Unending Love - The Beginning

They are doing really well, by the way. Will's dealership is now officially open. Gracie is being the perfect pest that Jackie thought she would be. And the three of them actually have some time to enjoy each others company for a change.

Butterfly Kisses

Once again, time has quickly slipped away in the blink of an eye.  So much has happened over the past couple weeks that have kept us on the run - some were fantastic and some very sad.  Over the coming days I will try to catch you up on the happenings in our world, but please, be patient and don't hold my feet to the fire, Steve.  I promise that as I have time and exhaustion hasn't set in, the updates will come.

There's two things I know for sure:
She was sent here from heaven and she's
daddy's little girl.
As I drop to my knees by her bed at night
She talks to Jesus and I close my eyes and
I thank god for all the joy in my life
Oh, but most of all
For butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer;
sticking little white flowers all up in her
hair; "Walk beside the pony, Daddy, it's my first ride."
"I know the cake looks funny, Daddy, but I sure tried."
In all that I've done wrong I know I must
have done something right to deserve a hug
every morning and butterfly kisses at night.

Not so long ago, seven year old Jackie and I were dancing to a new release by Bob Carlisle called Butterfly Kisses.  Jackie's butterfly kisses and dancing was part of everyday life in our house.  Good night stories and big dreams of what the future would bring.  Sometimes castles and princes occupied her mind while other times she dreamed of living on the prairie on a homestead.  She would say, "Don't worry Dad, I'll always love you!"  [Okay, I'm starting to get choked up again... better move along]

Sweet 16 today

She's looking like her mama a little more everyday
One part woman, the other part girl.
To perfume and make-up from ribbons and curls
Trying her wings out in a great big world.
But I remember
Butterfly kisses after bedtime prayer; sticking
little white flowers all up in her hair.
"You know how much I love you, Daddy, But if you
don't mind I'm only gonna kiss you on the cheek this time."


I knew that one day she would find a great guy who would step into the picture and sweep her off her feet and, sure enough, along came Will.  That time simply comes faster than any of us could ever imagine - and that was 18 months ago!  It has been fun to watch them grow in their love for each other and we have been so proud of their desire to be true to one another and to the Lord through the decisions they have made.  They have dreamed together of what can be, what should be, and how they can make it all happen.  That is the way it should be - you know, lots of dreams.  And yet, just like the wind...

All the precious time
Like the wind, the years go by.
Precious butterfly.
Spread your wings and fly.

June, 26, 2010.  That day arrived in just about as much time as it takes to get a butterfly kiss!

She'll change her name today.
She'll make a promise and I'll give her away.
Standing in the bride-room just staring at her.
She asked me what I'm thinking and I said "I'm not
sure-I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl."
She leaned over...gave me butterfly kisses with her mama there,
Sticking little white flowers all up in her hair
"Walk my down the aisle, Daddy-it's just about time."
"Does my wedding gown look pretty, Daddy? Daddy, don't cry!"

What a beautiful young lady!  She was glowing when she came down the hallway with the bridesmaids, just outside the sanctuary, and we were all fighting back the tears with a range of emotions flowing through us.  "Look at my brown flowers," she said with a smile and a little giggle.  The bridesmaids came up with the idea to help redirect her thoughts and avoid the tears.  It helped a little, but her cow lily bouquet was a beautiful white not brown at all, and Jackie was a gorgeous young bride who was ready to meet her bridegroom.

It was time.  The walk down the aisle to her prince charming was at hand.  We can do this Dad.

Oh, with all that I've done wrong I must have

done something right.

To deserve your love every morning and butterfly

kisses-I couldn't ask God for more, man this is what love is.

I know I gotta let her go, but I'll always remember
every hug in the morning and butterfly kisses.

I am told that you can tell a great deal about the groom by the way he watches his bride come down the aisle.  Will was completely taken by her beauty.

The scriptures say, "and the two shall become one."  Jackie and her Prince Charming, Will, in front of a room full of guests, shared their vows and celebrated the beginning of their new life together.  It was a day of very rich blessings!

We pray that the Lord will watch over you both as you seek to serve each other in complete devotion.  May His love grow in you as you grow in Him!  We love you guys!

Impressive Young Lady

We are in the Pittsburgh Children’s Hospital with many of the family members at the recommendation of Emily’s doctors. You know that means Emily’s time with us is very limited – that is of course unless the Lord chooses to intervene with a major miracle. We are preparing for the likelihood that the Lord will be calling her home soon and are working through the many mixed emotions that come with saying goodbye. The Lord is sovereign and we totally trust in Him regardless of whether we understand His ways.

Emily has fought a long hard battle that isn’t over yet.

“Tears are God’s way of releasing the pressures of the heart.” Pastor Freeman stopped in today to check on the family and shared those words with us as he brought with him an excitement for the Lord that was contagious and uplifting.

There is another amazing young woman that I am thinking about today as well. On Saturday, we will be celebrating Jackie and Will’s wedding. Jackie has proven to have incredible character through all of the storms of this past week. Not only has Emily taken a very bad turn, but Jackie’s Matron of Honor was in Virginia with her family last weekend for a different wedding when her father had some serious seizures and was hospitalized – placed in ICU. The seizures were so serious that he had lost his speech and it took several days to regain it. Thankfully he has improved and it looks like they will be coming home soon, and we are very grateful for that.

Most brides, faced with all that is going on, would be a wreck! But Jackie has shown such faith and maturity through these eventw that I cannot help but be blessed and very proud of her. Many people have wondered if Dawn and I are concerned that she is getting married so young, but we realize how mature she is and are confident that God has some great things in store for the two of them as they travel this life together. Will there be tears and struggles along the way? Of course. But as they grow in Christ, they will most definitely grow closer to one another. I wonder if Will realizes that he is getting such a strong, confident, faithful young lady? My guess is that he does.

My favorite verse comes from Proverbs 3, beginning in verse 5: “Trust in the Lord with all your and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.”

Through it all, our trust is in the Lord.

Adam's Birthday

As Adam's birthday is quickly approaching, we thought it would be nice to take the kids out for a meal. We decided to give a new restaurant in Meadville a try, Montana's Rib and Chop House. The food was fantastic! The pricing is on par with Applebee’s and other such restaurants. But oh, were the ribs delicious! Adam ordered calamari as an appetizer… mmmm. Did I mention the ribs? If you are going to try it out, we have heard that it is a good idea to make reservations on the weekends (which we did and had no problem). Two thumbs up!

On the way home we had to stop at Wal-Mart. It was an experience, for sure. You see, Dawn gave Adam a pair of jeans for Christmas that didn’t fit. He never exchanged them, so last week Dawn exchanged them for a pair that she thought would fit. Nope. They didn’t. So we were in the store yesterday listening to, “You are going to try these on to make sure they fit!”

We all got a good laugh out of that. Jackie walked away embarrassed. Adam said he felt like a little kid again (which at age 25 isn’t all that bad). And, in keeping with those rebellious years, never did try them on. It was a good time.

Happy Birthday Adam!

Quick update

Emily was really depressed that she is still in the hospital for Memorial Day weekend.  Every year, Dawn and I have had a picnic to celebrate the holiday and the kids always look forward to riding our four-wheeler (of course, Candy and Kim have every bit as much fun on it as the kids do!).  The last couple years have also included some motorcycle rides - Emily and I went on a nice long ride last year celebrating her recovery and chatted all along the way.  When we got back, I was in big trouble with Dawn because everybody was ready to leave, "and where did you go for so long?!"  We were only gone for 40 minutes or so.  She got over it pretty fast when I told how much Em enjoyed our time together.

Emily told Candy the other day that this is her favorite holiday because she gets to come down and ride the motorcycle and had really hoped that she would be home by now.  Then she began to cry.

It simply breaks my heart that she has been in the hospital for more than 100 days now.  The doctors are still struggling to keep her blood pressure in check and cannot find what is causing it.  They fear that her luekemia may returning so will be performing another bone asperation this week.  She has been sick and not eating for the past week.  We pray that there is some other cause because a relapse at this time could be devastating. 

The only good news is that they have finally found a cream that has been effective in healing her open sores.

Jim is not doing well either.  He is still in a great deal of pain and has no strenghth left.  Candy is simply overwhelmed by all that is going on

And yet, Romans 8:28 states, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."  Even in this terrible struggle all of you find yourselves wrapped up in, God will work good out of it in a mighty and powerful way.  Call on him and he will lift you up and strengthen you!  We love you guys!

Emily, I have said it before, I'll say it again, you are one tough young lady!

Em's Struggle

Emily has been having a really tough time lately as she fights her ongoing battle with leukemia.  A few days ago she took a surprising turn as her temperature began rising without any known cause.  After her nurse insisted that she be watched very closely, the doctors decided to put her in ICU where her blood pressure dropped to nearly zero and she had no pulse in her outer extremities.  After pumping her full of meds, her blood pressure skyrocketed then the battle was on to bring it back to normal. 

She is still in the ICU as they try to figure out what caused the dramatic changes in her system.  They have ruled out any infections, which is a good thing.  However, that leaves them to speculate what caused the spike in temperature and drop in blood pressure so they need to retest her marrow.  That will have to wait for another day because she is too weak right now to go through that - the doctors will wait till she is a bit stronger for any tests like that.  We are praying hard that her leukemia has not emerged again to wreak more havoc in her body.  She has been through so much - please continue to pray for her.